Why You Absolutely, Positively MUST Buy a New Boat This Year

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party boat fishing

Everyone should get aboard a crowded party boat every few years, to remind themselves of why they own a boat.

With 2016 fading into the rear-view and a new year upon us, it’s time to take a moment and seriously consider your future. Do you have a boat? If not, skip down to the section on why you absolutely, positively MUST buy one this spring. Do you have a boat in poor repair? If the answer is yes, skip down to the section on why you absolutely, positively MUST buy one this spring. Do you have a boat you just get by with, which really isn’t the one you want? Then once again, skip down to the section on why you absolutely, positively MUST buy one this spring. But first, take a look at this picture. You know how they say a picture is worth a thousand words? In this case, it’s true.

party boat fishing

Everyone should get aboard a crowded party boat every few years, to remind themselves of why they own a boat.

REASON #1 – If you don’t have your own boat and you want to go fishing, you might end up on a party boat. Now, I recommend that everyone get on a party boat at least once every four or five years. But the reason it’s a good idea is because it reminds you of why you need to own your own boat. Tangled lines, elbow-to-elbow fishing, sub-par bait, and dismal catches are usually what one experiences on a party boat. And a day of misery aboard one is a great reinforcement of the need to own your own fishing machine.

REASON #2 – In the long run, owning a boat will save you money. While it’s true that owning a boat can be very expensive, and the cost of the fish you eat rarely if ever comes close to making up for the expense, psychotherapy is even more expensive. So is divorce, alcohol abuse, and severe depression, all of which are likely outcomes of failing to get the boat that you need. So when looking at the big picture, it’s easy to see how owning a boat actually saves you money. Best of all, the effect is logarithmic. If you own two boats, you’ll save four times as much money. Own three boats and you’ll save eight times as much money, and so on and so forth.

REASON #3 – Your sex life will be improved. Now, I realize that this sounds a bit silly at first, but follow me: the non-boat-owner spends a weekend sitting on the couch, eating chips and watching boob-tube. By the time evening rolls around he or she is half asleep and bereft of both energy and motivation. The boat owner, meanwhile, awakens before the sun comes up. He or she feels the wind rushing through his or her hair at 30 knots, feels salt spray on his or her skin, and gains valuable vitamin D as he or she soaks up the sun. By the time evening rolls around, sure he or she is tired, but it’s a good tired. Instead of lacking motivation and energy, this happy boater feels virile and active.

There are, in fact many more perfectly good reasons to own a boat. Your friends and family will grow closer, your neighbors will admire your fish-hunting abilities, and your boss will envy your captaining prowess. Even your dog will love you more for it. So get out there, and buy a new boat this spring—your future depends on it.

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