IF YOU’RE READING this then you are someone who participates in the outdoor lifestyle. You’re obviously not checking this out for the latest in fall fashions—well perhaps, if you consider camouflage stylish this year.

In a crazy year with a pandemic, up and down economy, record storms, record fires and all-out chaos, survival has become something more than a fantasy. If this snowball continues to roll down the mountain then an avalanche is in the forecast.

Here are some things to consider about our topics.

Concealed Carry

Have you been to a large department store post-pandemic? Hit one at the right time, and it looks like the zombie apocalypse is really unfolding. The campaign of fear in the media on top of the protests in the streets and cities burning has been a reminder that concealed carry is something to be taken very seriously.

If you’re not certified it might be time.

If you are and leave your gun in the car, it might be time to actually carry.

For everyone, training needs to be part of the equation. Learn how to properly use and clean your gun. Be prepared mentally and physically for any situation you might encounter.

I’d like to say you won’t come across some living-dead creature trying to eat your brain, but I went to one of these department stores at midnight recently. It was like George Romero’s Dawn of the Dead, albeit without the subtle humor.

Yes, it was much scarier.

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Practical Outdoors Tips

If there’s ever been a time to know how to skin a buck and run a trotline it’s now.

Look, if you’re actually quoting a Hank Williams, Jr. song as practical advice you know things are serious. Granted, A Country Boy Can Survive is more firmly rooted in morality than Whisky Bent and Hell Bound. However, when Hank seems more reasonable than most of society, see the zombie apocalypse note above.

We need to be showing our children and grandchildren how to do things like tie fishing knots, run trotlines and to safely shoot guns. They need to know there is food in the woods and in the water, if things go way farther south.

Posting videos on TikTok may be fun, but it ain’t gonna put food on the table. If the power is out, the video thing is null and void anyway.

Yes, we have conditioned our youth to see slow WiFi as torment and persecution, but they need to know they can make it out alive when things get really bad.

Then they can post a clip about their adventure.

Wild game will become a valuable commodity if things continue down their current path. Have you seen beef prices lately?

It’s ridiculous.

We’re not even talking about the expensive Japanese beef where they massage the cattle and give them chiropractic adjustments before taking them to slaughter.

Regular old pasture beef is becoming a delicacy. Chicken prices aren’t what they used to be either.

The person who can kill, catch and clean game is at an advantage now and will be the man of the hour if the zombie crisis reaches phase 2.

This would be a great time to share our knowledge of the tastes of wild game and fish to friends on the fence about the issue. Even animal rights-leaning folks might convert if beef continues its pace to be the meat of kings and queens.

You didn’t think all of those people were vegans, did you? They’re animal rights friends only when the following things line up.

1. They can feel good about being a good person and not actually killing animals.

2. They get attention from others about being a good person and not actually killing animals.

3. They don’t have to put more thought than points A and B into their philosophy.

Former anti-hunters will be glad to eat Bambi’s momma when they know it tastes good and even has the bonus of being “organic.” Yes, you can always sell them on that one. Obvious or not, it sounds good.

As Christmas season rolls along you can invite them all over for some quality wild game and maybe a lesson in survival. Remember, the anti-hunter usually changes their mind when a feral hog is in the rose garden. The vegan may compromise when roasted nutria is more environmentally friendly than their tofu.

The anti-gunner is typically not fond of idiots in masks burning down their business. After all, they are capitalists. Well, maybe not, but a riot or two in front of their store window might make them replace the Castro painting in their office with one of Washington.

Where is all of this going? We don’t know. We’re praying for a turnaround. We’re hoping for a business boom. And we’re preparing to do the best with what comes our way.

If it’s a reversed pandemic and economic sunshine we rejoice. If it’s more zombies, we’ll be ready for that too.

With that in mind here’s some parting shots of practical advice:

• When Christmas shopping you might want to go in disguise and wear an “Animals Are People Too” shirt or something of the sort.

•  The zombies you’re likely to encounter in large numbers during the Christmas shopping rush only eat brains.

• If they think you’re one of them, they’ll just walk on by.

•  •  •

WITH ALL OF that said, in this age of uncertainty the following are some great Christmas gift ideas for the outdoors lover.

Beacon: An emergency beacon can be a lifesaver for a hunter, fishermen or anyone who enjoys the great outdoors. Most of these have the ability to push a button and signal all relevant emergency agencies with a signal of your location.

Some of these even have the option of being able to have preset text messages like, “I have arrived at my desired location” for example”. All of them come with some kind of a monthly service plan that is well worth it when it comes to potentially saving your life.

This may seem like something that’s a natural for a deep woods hunter but consider how far out of civilization some fishermen venture into back bays and deep marshes. This is not a stocking suffer priced item but again, it could be a difference maker.

Castnet: This might seem a little odd for a gift but with the price of live and dead bait skyrocketing, a castnet is a practical and money saving gift. Make sure and get one no smaller than four feet (unless you are buying for a kid) or larger than six feet.

And in all sincerity if we have some sort of deep financial meltdown this isn’t a bad way to catch dinner.

Snake Proof Boots: Nothing in the outdoors arsenal of a hunter can be more more frequently used than snake proof boots. There are a variety of brands out there and they can be a little pricey but if your loved one is always stomping through cottonmouth country or ventures out west where rattlesnakes are common a pair of snake boots can save you and them a lot of worry and maybe a trip to the hospital.

Leggings are also available and can be effective at deflecting fangs.

Fillet Knives: A good set of fillet knives is a valuable gift for serious anglers. That is the ones that occasionally release their fish into grease or perhaps prefer more refined (and healthy) grilled offerings.

Electric knives are great for most applications but if you have an angler in your life who catches lots of thick-scaled redfish look at the reviews. Reds will burn out a lot of electric knives. Good standard blades tend to do the job better than most.

Selfie Stick: Who doesn’t like to take cool photos of themselves with fish and game? If no one is around, a selfie-stick can help get the job done.

And you never know what could happen. You might get that elusive video of a mountain lion sneaking up behind you while you’re cutting a promo for Youtube on the big buck you just shot.

A word of advice is to get a battery-powered one. Rechargeables are hit and miss on their longevity.

We couldn’t help but be a little sarcastic here ending 2020 but in all sincerity we wish you a very merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. We’re believing for a better 2021.

 

—story by CHESTER MOORE

 

 

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