You Might Be a Gun Guy if: (Part 1)

Feel free to add any to in comments below!
  • Flying freaks you out, because you know you’ll test positive for GSR (if that’s what they are swabbing for), find a magazine or cartridges in your bag, or maybe the Ruger LCP you misplaced.
  • At a traffic stop, the officer asks how many guns are in the car, not if.
  • What others call an arsenal, you simply call a collection.  Or fun weekend.
  • You have no idea how many guns you own.
  • You get offended when somebody asks how many guns you own.
  • You scoff when somebody calls several hundred rounds “a lot of ammo”.
  • When your toddler hears thunder she just thinks you are shooting out in the backyard again.
  • Your wife keeps a bucket in the laundry room to put all the brass casings that fall out of your pockets in the wash.
  • Your kids don’t bat an eye when you walk through the living room with 3 ARs and 2 dozen magazines.
  • You can’t find some guns because you forgot which safe you put them in.
  • Your PayPal account gets frozen for using it to buy gun parts or ammo.
  • Someone breaks in the house and you can’t decide which gun to grab.
  • Your kids have been suspended from school for eating a pop tart into a pistol, wearing an NRA t-shirt, or imaginarily shooting doves in the playground.
  • Siri automatically tells you where local gun shops are when you are traveling.
  • The only think you can remember from Jurassic Park was the Franchi SPAS 12 Shotgun.
  • Gunbroker and IMDFB are your browser home pages.
  • You can never use your tripod for cameras because you always leave the top piece mounted to your chronograph.
  • You know the difference between a “clip” and a “magazine” and get offended when it’s improperly used.
  • Top dresser drawer is holster drawer.
  • You watch a stock ticker and see gun calibers.
  • The question is never if you have a gun on you, but how many?
  • While at an amusement park, the cowboys start to act out a gunfight and your hand automatically reaches for your sidearm (which isn’t there anyhow).
  • You can always play “Guess how many casings are in my pocket?” with your friends.
  • Your phone autocorrects “fun” to “gun” and “clock” to “Glock”.

Onward to Part 2!

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